Honor the Lord in Your Family and Workplace

Have you ever heard the phrase, “Don’t be too heavenly minded to be any earthly good?” Have you ever heard that? It’s an interesting idea. The idea is that if your mind is too occupied with heaven, then you’ll neglect your responsibilities on earth. Not only does the Bible not say that, but Colossians chapter three, where our passage for this morning is found, teaches the exact opposite. Listen to how Colossians chapter three begins. This is from our passage from last week. Colossians 3:1-2 – If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. [2] Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. Throughout the rest of Colossians 3 we learn that God commands us to be heavenly minded because it’s the key to doing earthly good. As Colossians 3:17 says “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3 teaches that heaven changes everything and that being heavenly minded is the power and motivation for doing earthly good; doing everything in the name and for the glory of the Lord. 

Our passage this morning, which covers the end of Colossians three and the beginning of four, focuses on being so heavenly minded that we honor the Lord in our family and in the workplace. Very Important: The key to both understanding and living out our passage is one word that is repeated six times in our passage: “Lord.” One third of all the uses of the word “Lord” in Colossians are found in our brief passage this morning. Why is that so important? It reveals that the way to do earthly good in your relationships in the family and in the workplace is by relating first to the Lord, and then to other people. When you’re heavenly minded, you relate first to the Lord and then you relate to others through the Lord, by the Lord, and, for the Lord. When you’re heavenly minded, you don’t treat others as they deserve to be treated, you treat them as is fitting in the Lord. And that brings us to the big idea of our passage this morning: Honor the Lord in your family and workplace. Honor the Lord in your family and workplace. We’re going to take that big and our passage in two parts: 1. The family (3:18-21) 2. The workplace (3:22-4:1). 

THE FAMILY (3:18-21)

Our passage addresses one-by-one the different members of a family, teaching them how to honor the Lord in the way they treat each other. Our passage begins with wives to husbands, then husbands to wives, then children to parents, and then fathers to their children. If you do not fit into one of those relational categories, a few brief encouragements: First, the verses on the workplace are coming. Second, you may one day inhabit one of these relational categories and it’s best to learn how to honor the Lord in them before you’re in them. Finally, even if you don’t fit into these relational categories, learn so that you can meaningfully pray for, encourage, and disciple fellow church members who do inhabit these relationships so that they can better honor the Lord.

Wives to husbands. How do wives honor the Lord in the way they relate to their husbands? Colossians 3:18 – Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. At the outset, we should note that our passage assumes the truth that since God created Adam and Eve and brought them together as one, that marriage is a covenant relationship of oneness between one man and one woman. How does a wife honor the Lord in the way that she relates to her husband? God says that wives must submit to their husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. The word submit means to voluntarily subject or subordinate oneself to an authority. Wives are to live with an overall disposition and attitude of subjection under or submission to their husbands God-given authority in the family, much like the way a church submits to Christ’s authority over her. The phrase “as is fitting in the Lord” means that a wife’s submission to her husband cannot include doing things that disobey the Lord. If he tells you not to go to church, not to teach your children about the Lord, or not to read the Bible, don’t submit to that because it’s not “fitting “in the Lord.” You’ve probably heard a lot about what submission doesn’t mean, but this morning we’re going to focus positively on what submission does mean and what it looks like in practice. So, what does it mean for a wife to have a whole life orientation of submission to her husband? Pastor and theologian John Piper correctly writes, “Submission is the defined calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership, and so help to carry it through according to her gifts.” So, he wants to establish family devotions, read a book together, get a date night going, steward the family money better, talk about increasing your church involvement, consider whether or not to buy a home or make an improvement to your current one. Wives, submission means affirming that he’s taking godly initiative, honoring that verbally, kindly expressing any concerns you have about his ideas as you discuss them (discussion builds oneness), respectfully influencing his thinking to potentially make his ideas godlier and wiser, and then humbly submitting to his desires and plans, even if you don’t completely agree, and happily using your manifold gifts to carry it through in a way the he can’t on his own. Submission looks like believing God has given your husband the authority in your home, learning to love that God has done so, and seeking to carry out your husband’s authority with all your wisdom so that your family and the world flourish. Wives, are you actively honoring and affirming your husband when he exercises God-given authority? Wives, are you respectfully sharpening his thinking and using every ounce of your wisdom to carry his leadership through to godly success? In the parallel passage in Ephesians God tells wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Commenting on that phrase “as to the Lord,” Chad and Emily Van Dixhoorn write, “He must mean that the same attitude that goes into giving oneself to Jesus Christ should go into giving oneself to a husband. He must mean that it is God’s perfect plan for women to give themselves to their imperfect husbands in a way that echoes the creative, energetic, committed service that they give to their perfect Savior” (Gospel Shaped Marriage). That’s why John Calvin writes, “wives cannot obey Christ without yielding obedience to their husbands.” Wives, honor the Lord by submitting to your husbands as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, go out of your way to make it easy for your wife to honor the Lord by submitting to you.

Husbands to wives. How do husbands so seek the things above that they honor the Lord on earth in the way they relate to their wives? Colossians 3:19 provides one thing husbands must do and one they must not: Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Let’s begin positively with love. The first way to honor the Lord is by loving your wife. Love can be hard to pin down. Thankfully, in the parallel passage in Ephesians, the Lord tells us specifically what the love of a husband toward his wife should be like. Ephesians 5:25-26a – Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her…Ephesians 5:28a – In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. Piecing those verses together, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church and as they love their own bodies. Husbands honor the Lord by treating their wives with unconditional, authoritative love. In other parts of the New Testament, this love is called headship. A wife’s respect for her husband looks like submission, and a husband’s love for his wife looks like headship. John Piper provides a helpful definition: Headship is the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christ-like, servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home. Husbands, we honor the Lord through Christ-like, unconditional, and authoritative love. Are you devoted to your work so that you can provide for her and your children? Are you devoted to praying for her, that in all things she will glorify God and enjoy Him? Are you intentionally making space to do things that she loves and build oneness? My Andrea loves to walk and she loves to talk. So, each week we do our best to go on a long walk that gives us plenty of space to talk. I’m not naturally that much of a talker. Doesn’t matter. Are you ensuring that she has plenty of time to study God’s word alone and with friends? I love what the Van Dixhoorns say, “Husbands are to love their wives as they love themselves, which is rarely anything but all consuming.” Husbands, honor the Lord by treating your wives with unconditional, authoritative, Christ-like love. Now, let’s turn to what husbands are not to do. Colossians 3:18 – Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Husbands, when you begin to step into your divine calling to take primary responsibility for Christ-like leadership, protection, and provision in your home, you’ll run up against a particular temptation: being harsh. Your wife is a sinful human just like you. Even if she’s incredibly godly, her heart may not immediately flutter at the thought of being under your authority. Therefore, when you put away your sinful passivity toward and fear of your wife and you seek to treat her with unconditional, authoritative love, she may resist you. You want to set up daily devotions; she may resist you. You want to talk about an area of your marriage that is out of conformity with Christ; she may resist you. And when your desires are resisted, you’ll be tempted to fight, quarrel, manipulate and be harsh. Don’t be harsh. Don’t pout. Don’t give up and give over your authority to her. God hasn’t said to do that. Instead, keep loving, keep leading, keep protecting, keep providing, and graciously ask her, “why are you resisting me.” Lovingly listen and wisely adjust. Christ doesn’t change us through harshness, and that’s not how we treat our wives.Husbands and wives – Spurgeon once wrote, “When husbands and wives are well yoked, how light their load becomes.” We’ll never know the joy of that if we keep treating the other as they deserve. We’ll never know the joy of that if we are busy thinking about why he isn’t worthy of submission or she isn’t worthy of love. However, we relate first to the Lord, and then to one another. 

Children to parents. How do children honor the Lord in the way they relate to their parents? Colossians 3:20 – Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Though I know that most of our children are downstairs at Citylight Kids, children, especially middle and high school aged children, the way you honor the Lord is by obeying your parents in everything. Now, that’s incredibly difficult when your desires and what your parents’ desires are in conflict. How can you obey your parents and not talk back when you want to do something and they say that you have to read your Bible, clean your room, and finish your homework first? The key is to relate first to the Lord. Make it your greatest ambition in life to please the Lord. Ask the Lord everyday, “Lord, make pleasing you my all consuming ambition today.” Parents of young children, you can make this easier for your children to do when they get older by teaching them about the Lord and requiring them to obey you when they’re young. 

Fathers to children. Dad’s, Happy Father’s Day. You matter more than you know and God has a word just for you today. Colossians 3:21 – Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Dads the word to us today is one of correction: do not provoke your children, lest they become embittered, angry, or afraid. In the second chapter of his wonderful book, The Heart of Anger: Practical Help for the Prevention and Cure of Anger, Lou Priolo offers twenty-five ways that we fathers provoke our children to anger. It’s a total bait and switch. I thought I was reading a book about how to help my children not be controlled by anger and right out the gate the author points out 25 ways I may be provoking them. All twenty-five are important, but dads, I want to highlight the one that I think is most common among us: Being inconsistent with discipline. Dads, your children thrive under clarity. When you delight in your kids joyfully, instruct them clearly, and establish clear behavioral boundaries, they won’t be provoked when you correct and discipline them for transgressing the boundaries. Since you’re consistent, they’ll know what to expect and your discipline won’t provoke them. Alternatively, if you’re inconsistent with discipline, then what often happens is that you tend to discipline primarily when you’re at the end of your rope. Well, what happens when you’re at the end of your rope? You discipline out of anger and with anger. You’re out of control and your anger provokes your child to anger, bitterness, discouragement, and fear. When you model anger, you’re going to get angry kids. When you model a critical spirit, you’re going to discourage your children. It’s counterintuitive, but the more liberal you are with delight, the more consistent you are with instruction and correction, the more calm and kind you’ll be when you discipline, and the less provoked your children will be. The best way to stop modeling sinful anger as a father is to relate rightly to your Father in heaven. As the puritan John Owen once wrote, “Eye the Father as love; look not on him as an always lowering father, but as one most kind and tender. Let us look on him by faith, as one that has had thoughts of kindness toward us from everlasting.” Delight in your children as your Heavenly Father delights in you, instruct your children with clarity as your Heavenly Father instructs you, and discipline them with gentle consistency as your Father disciplines those he loves, and you’ll stop provoking your children to anger. Church – in our backward and confused world, cultivating a rightly ordered, godly family is one of our greatest witnesses. Let’s turn from the family to honoring the Lord in…

THE WORKPLACE (3:22-4:1)

The second half of our passage helps bondservants and masters learn how to honor the Lord in the way they relate to one another. Why am I applying these verses to the workplace? For two reasons, first, slavery was never part of God’s “very good” creation, but vocation, with its authority dynamic, is part of God’s good creation. Second, the New Testament teaching on slavery is addressing an existing societal system, but essentially guts it. In other words, the NT provides all the seeds for the abolition of slavery, which Christians were then able to carry out later in history. The New Testament teaching on how slaves and masters honor Christ in the way they relate to one another so transforms the relationship that it’s no longer a relationship of “owner” and “property.” Therefore, I believe that the best way to apply our passage is to relationships in the workplace. 

Those under authority to those in authority. In our passage the Lord will tell you what to do, how to do it, and why to do it. What should those under authority do in relation to those in authority at work? Answer: Obey them. Colossians 3:22a – Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters… If those in authority over you at work ask you to perform a task, arrive at a particular time, or do something in a particular fashion, the way you honor the Lord is by obeying them. Now, what do you do if someone in authority over you asks you to do something or do it in a way that you don’t think is best for the mission, the client, or the patient? First, ask yourself if this is a big enough deal to express disagreement to your boss. Every expression of disagreement spends relational capital.  If you decide to voice your disagreement, start by respectfully asking if you may suggest an alternative course of action. If they say, “no,” then drop it and obey. If they say “yes,” then share the alternative in as convincing a fashion as possible, while being respectful of their point of view because you may still have to carry it out. If they decide to go with your plan, thank them and get to it, if they don’t, thank them and get to it with an amazing attitude and determination. Remember, if the Lord wanted you to be in authority at your job, you would be, but you’re not yet. Of course, if they’re asking you to sin, refuse, but know that may lead you to lose your job and that’s ok, it’s better than sinning. How do you obey your boss over and over, especially when you don’t agree with his or her instruction? Answer: You fear the Lord and you serve the Lord, not your boss. Colossians 3:22 – Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. When you’re tempted to ignore, disobey, gossip about, or marginalize your boss’ instructions or desires, fear the Lord. The way to honor your boss is by fearing the Lord, fear dishonoring the Lord, which will lead you to go beyond simply seeming to obey your boss through eye-service and people-pleasing flattery. Ultimately, when you fear the Lord, you’ll do all your work for Him, not your boss. Colossians 3:23 – Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. When you treat the Lord as your ultimate boss, when you perform every task for His glory, then your work will be shot through with meaning no matter how menial, and you’ll have the internal resources to obey your boss even when he or she doesn’t deserve it. Why should we do all this; obey your boss and work for the Lord? Answer: If you do so, you’ll receive a reward from the Lord, but if you don’t, you’ll receive his judgment. Colossians 3:24 – …knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, there is no partiality. The reason why you work incredibly hard, no matter what your job is or who your boss is, is because no matter how you’re rewarded here, servants of Christ will be rewarded eternally. We will inherit the eternal promised land; the new heavens and the new earth. Every bonus may fade, but the inheritance is eternal. Those who serve themselves will be lost forever, showing their faith to be dubious.

Those in authority to those under authority. How should those in authority relate to those under their authority at work? Colossians 4:1 – Masters, treat your bond servants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. Those whom God has given authority must use it. If God has put you in charge, the most loving thing that you can do is be in charge and exercise authority. However, you should use your authority to do what is right, evenhanded, and fair. Use your authority to lead them the right way, to accomplish the right work, in the right way. Don’t use them as property, but lead them like image bearers. Treat them as human beings. The reason why those of us entrusted with authority must act this way is because we too have a Master in heaven. We will come under his judgment. The way that we treat those under our authority is a test of the genuineness of our saving faith.

CONCLUSION

Citylight – be so heavenly minded that you do all things on earth in a way that honors the Lord. After all, he lived, died, and rose to give us new life out of death. We have been raised with Christ by grace and when Christ appears, then we will be with him in glory forever. Therefore, by the grace of God in Christ, honor the Lord in your family and in your workplace.