Use Your Words to Bring Life, Not Death.

Sermon Transcript

The power of speech is godlike.
In the beginning, God spoke the universe into existence. Sun, moon, and stars; planets beyond counting; the prodigal plentitude of life on earth – all of it brought into existence through His word. In Christ, God upholds the universe by the word of his power. God calls into existence the things that are not (Rom 4:17); he speaks and it comes to pass (Lam 3:37); that which he has spoken he will surely do. God’s words are life; his very word gives life (Phil 2:16; 1 John 1:1).
The power of speech is godlike.
And with us, his image-bearers, God shares this godlike power of speech. He gives Adam the gift of speech, to name the animals, and whatever he called them, so they were called. Through speech he enables Adam and Eve to talk with him, and with one another. Later on he appoints prophets to speak the very words of God to the people. And he entrusts us, his people in Christ, with the good news of the gospel, the very words of life, by which the dead are made alive and sinners turned from their ways. We share this godlike power of speech.
It is little wonder, then, that of all the topics that Proverbs covers, the most attention is paid to speech, words. If you’re just joining us for the first time this morning, we have been preaching through the Old Testament Book of Proverbs since the Fall. And this spring, we have been working through it topic-by-topic, each week exploring what Proverbs says about a variety of issues such as food, finances, happiness, and this week, speech.
Proverbs has a lot to say about speech – our words – over 60 separate passages. Which shows us how important it must be. But if there’s one verse that sums up Proverbs’ teaching on speech, it’s Proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Death and life! Your words have great power, whether for good, or for evil. Your speech is powerful. And we have been granted this powerful, godlike power of speech for a purpose: to bring life, and not death. Our big idea this morning is: Use your words to bring life, not death. God has given you the gift of speech so that you might use it, not to bring death, but to bring life. And in exploring this topic, we will look at three aspects of it: 1. Words have great power 2. Use your words to bring life 3. Words reveal the heart.
Let’s get into it.
3:45

1. Words have great power
Before we get into the specifics about what kind of speech gives life vs. gives death, we must acknowledge this: Proverbs affirms that our speech, our words, are very, very powerful, whether for good or for evil. We already mentioned our theme verse, proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue. That’s big, right? Consider also a few other proverbs that illustrate the power of words:
The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. – 10:11
The words of the wicked lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright delivers them. – 12:6
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Prov 12:18 NIV)
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. – 15:4
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. – 25:11

Do you hear the great power in our words that these proverbs convey? Life and death; a fountain of life or of violence; sword thrusts or healing; a tree of life vs. a broken spirit. Your words, whether for good or evil, are very powerful!
Let me tell you what this is like. I’ll give you two illustrations. First, suppose I hand you a box and ask you to carry it across the room. You ask what’s in it, and I tell you it’s some handouts for our next Citylight Institute class. You say “Sure” and off you go. Now, suppose I tell you it contains nitroglycerin, a highly volatile substance that can explode on impact. You’re going to treat that box differently, right? You’ll be careful with it? Or now suppose I tell you it contains a life-saving medicine that someone in our church body desperately needs, and they’re waiting for it in the other room. Again, you’ll treat it differently, right? Our words are like the nitroglycerin, AND the medicine. Your words are powerful, whether for good or evil, life or death.
Or try this one: if you grew up in America, I’m sure you heard many times the little phrase: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me.” You heard that, right? The problem is, you knew it then, and you still know it now: it’s not true. It’s a lie. Completely false. Stop right now and think back to the names that people called you, whether parents, friends, or kids on the playground. The fact that you still remember them proves the point. Words can hurt. They do hurt more than the sticks and stones! Now flip it around and think of a time when someone spoke a good word over you. A parent’s pet name, or a “good job,” a word of encouragement. You remember that, too, right? Our words are powerful, whether for good or evil, life or death.
What do we do with this? Here’s what: let’s begin with awareness. We’ll get into specifics in just a moment, but for now can we just be aware that God has entrusted us, his image-bearers, with that box that contains EITHER nitroglycerin, OR life-saving medicine, and the choice is up to you? Will we use it wisely? Your words are powerful, whether for good or evil, life or death.
But let’s get into specifics. The Book of Proverbs uses contrast, that is, not this but that, or light vs. darkness, or good vs. evil, or, in this case, life vs. death. Proverbs encourages us to use our words to bring life, not death.
7:45
2. Use your words to bring life
(move faster) When we group all the various proverbs on words, they break down into 5 different contrasts, five ways to bring life, not death. I’ll list them all and then we’ll go through them, but not all of them the same amount. As we go through them, ask: which two or three is the Holy Spirit shining a spotlight on today? What is he calling you to do?
Not more, but less
Not rash, but careful
Not lies, but truth
Not harsh, but gentle
Not divisive, but unifying

Not more, but less
This first one might surprise you, but the first thing Proverbs has to teach us about death-bringing words is simply this: In general, more speech = more sin. Less speech, less sin:
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. – 10:19
A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul. – 18:7
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. – 17:28
It’s better to keep silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. – 13:3
Proverbs encourages us to be people who use our words sparingly, and wisely. While there are probably exceptions, and you probably know who you are, in general most of us would be better off with less speech, not more. And by the way, this includes written speech too, like on social media. We’re all familiar with the hot take, the person who just “had to jump in and say something,” the “not gonna lie”-type of a post. Friend, consider, you actually don’t have to jump in and say something about this. Say less.
The next one is closely related to this:
Not rash, but careful

9:30
Rash speech means speech that is hasty, unplanned, off-the-cuff. In addition to less speech, speech that brings life is not rash, but careful:
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. – 17:27
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. – 21:23
A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. – 18:6
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. – 15:28
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (29:20)
James in the New Testament reinforces this:
let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; (Jas. 1:19 ESV)
Look, the fact is that for all of us, even the quiet ones, our speech has gotten us into trouble. Every married couple here has had the experience where you’re in the thick of it with your spouse, you’re quarreling, and then you’re triggered, and before you know it… out it comes and oh, how you wish you could take it back. In Proverbs the wise man or wise woman is one who speaks less, and when they speak, what they say is worth saying.
How could you grow in using speech that is careful?
On this point, if I may, allow me to say a gentle word about the filler words that we all use, words like “um,” “like,” or “you know.” Proverbs would encourage us to be people who think before we speak, speak only what is necessary, and do so carefully and wisely.
Careful speech also includes saying the right thing at the right time:
A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. – 25:11
It’s like a beautiful piece of jewelry
To make an apt answer is a joy to a man, and a word in season, how good it is! – 15:23

Have you ever had someone say just the right thing to you at just the right time? Have you ever been the one who said that to others? Here are two ways to grow in saying the right thing at the right time:

First, know Scripture. Since Scripture has the very words of life, the more you know God’s word the more you will able to say the right thing at the right time. Second, pray and trust the Spirit. Do you find yourself in a difficult conversation with someone who needs your help, but you’re not sure what to say? Pray silently to yourself before answering, see what the Holy Spirit brings to mind. While the context is persecution, Jesus’s words have an application here: And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, 12 for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” (Luke 12:11-12 ESV)

The Holy Spirit may want to minister comfort through your words. Rely on Him and ask what God wants you to say.

13:30

Not lies, but truth

So many of the Proverbs about words hit on the topic of lies vs. the truth. Lying has been with us since the beginning. In fact, the very first recorded conversation in the Bible contained a lie! When the serpent deceived Eve, she told him that they mustn’t eat the fruit of the forbidden tree, lest they die. 4 But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die.(Genesis 3:4). In fact, Scripture calls Satan the father of lies. When we lie, we imitate the devil, not God. But Proverbs teaches that lying is violent, fleeting, and an abomination:

A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow. – 25:18
A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin. – 26:28

The idea that words can be violence seems like a new one, but it’s actually an old one. Lying is a form of hate, and liars are like deadly weapons.

Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment. – 12:19

Perhaps we’ve all had the experience of a lie temporarily getting us out of a jam but it comes back to haunt us. But whether the consequences are good or bad, the LORD hates lies:

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD, but those who act faithfully are his delight. – 12:22

I still remember the first lie I actively participated in. I was with a neighborhood friend and we had done something wrong, and my friend Greg used a lie to get us out of trouble. It worked, and later I said, in all seriousness, “Nice lie, Greg.” But I knew it wasn’t nice, and I felt convicted inside.

Where are you telling lies? Is it something that might is major, like living a double life, or lying to your spouse about your spending, or about your internet habits? If so, today is the day to come clean. Commit to the Lord right now to have that hard conversation. You’re carrying it like a burden. The Lord wants to unburden you by telling the truth.

Or does it seem more minor, like little “white lies,” or regularly exaggerating or stretching a story to make yourself look better? Or what about not creating lies, but spreading them? For example, sharing political memes on social media, whether left or right, that with 30 seconds of fact-checking you could find out are actually false, or exaggeraed? Whatever it is, your lying is an abomination to the Lord, and it’s a form of violence against someone else made in the image of God.

Closely related to lying is flattery, this is when someone compliments another person, but with an agenda. They say true things, but they do it with an evil purpose, usually to win someone over:

A lying tongue hates its victims, and a flattering mouth works ruin. – 26:28
A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet. – 29:5

I remember years ago when I was a relatively new Christian I worked at a small business, and the owner, whom I was close with, was considering taking on a new business partner. I noticed that this man, the potential partner, was very quick to spread compliments about other people, including myself, even though he didn’t know me at all. So when my boss asked me what I thought about this man, armed with a little bit of Proverbs, I simply answered, “He’s a flatterer” and mumbled something about how the Bible doesn’t speak well of them. My boss was kind of annoyed, but long story short, he got into a partnership with the flatterer, and it did not end well at all. And later he remembered what I had said. Stay away from people who seem to pour it on thick with the compliments for no real reason. They are trouble.

By contrast, speech that brings life is speech that tells the truth. We’ve already seen some proverbs about this, so let’s see a verse from the New Testament:

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. (Eph. 4:25 ESV)

I’d like to zero in for a moment on one specific case of truth-telling:

Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. 12 If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work? (Prov 24:11-12 ESV)

One of the best ways that we as believers can tell others the truth is to tell the truth of the gospel, even when it’s hard, and through it give words of life that will deliver those who receive it from eternal death. You see, the “good news” about Jesus presupposes the bad news about human sin. All of us have turned away from God, and because of that, we have earned his eternal wrath. There is no way that we can ever clean ourselves up enough to approach a holy God! That is bad news. But God has made a way by sending his Son Jesus to die in our place on the cross. He took the punishment that we deserved, and through faith in Jesus we can have forgiveness of sins and life in His name. That’s good news! Telling others the truth means being willing to tell them the truth about how they can be saved.

19:20

Next, speech that brings life is
Not harsh, but gentle

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. – 15:1
A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. – 15:4
Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. – 16:24
With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. (Prov 25:15 ESV)

These three proverbs all use slightly different words, but they largely come out to the same thing: Proverbs, and the Bible in general, encourages soft, gentle speech. Some religious people have a reputation for harsh direct speech. Now there is a place for that but over and over again Scripture encourages gentleness. Aim for gentleness over genuine. Our culture places a priority on being “genuine.”

Consider how the New Testament amplifies this teaching:

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. (Jas. 3:17 ESV)
Let your gentleness be evident to all. (Phil. 4:5 NIV)
we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. (1 Thess. 5:14 ESV)

The fact is, we all love the idea of being gentle until we really want to get our point across. Think about when it’s most difficult for you to be gentle. It’s usually when you really desire something, or are really passionate about something. It doesn’t mean you’re desiring a bad thing. You might be passionate about the things of God! But you really think in the moment that the cure for that person’s sin, or lack of interest, is your raised voice, or your snark. Gentleness. A soft tongue can break a bone.
With your children, with your spouse, with your friends, your brothers and sisters in Christ, your parents, let’s strive to be people who are gentle of speech. Save the hard words for those rare times when they are truly needed. When it comes to speech, the default is gentleness. The “grease” for Christian relationships is gentleness and overlooking offenses.
21:45
Lastly, speech that brings life is

Not divisive, but unifying

There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, 19 a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. – 6:16–19
This is very important in churches. There are some people, sent ultimately by Satan, who are simply there to divide the church. You may have heard Pastor Matt mention this once, but we had one really clear example of this about 10 years ago. An older man started attending the church who seemed wise and godly, but then he started sending emails to our leaders about some issues of doctrine about which he felt strongly. While at first we tried to engage with him, before long we realized he had no real agenda except to divide the church. The NT actually has pretty harsh words about this type of person:
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless. 10 As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11 knowing that such a person is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned. (Tit. 3:9-11 ESV)
This doesn’t mean that anyone who asks a question is sowing dissension. There’s a certain bar. But when it happens, avoid it. Put a stop to it.

If you’re tracking with me so far, you’ll be on board with the idea that our speech is very powerful, and you will have identified a few ways you’re using speech right now that bring death and a few that bring life. But there’s one final important thing that Proverbs says about speech, and we have to get this right in order to truly understand and apply this teaching. And it’s this:
3. Words reveal the heart
24:30
You see, all speech, whether death-bringing or life-bringing, is just a symptom of something deeper. Over and over again Proverbs reveals the deep and unfailing connection between our speech and our hearts. Notice how each of these proverbs juxtaposes the heart with our words; the internal and the external.
The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools. – 15:7
The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the LORD, but gracious words are pure. – 15:26
The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips. – 16:23
A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. – 16:27
The New Testament picks up on this even further:
out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. (Matt 12:34 ESV) I like how the NIV puts this: For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. (Matt 12:34 NIV).
No one in the NT unpacks this better than James:
6 The tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, 8 but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. 10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. (James 3:6–10)
Friend, if you’re hearing me this morning, perhaps you’ve become convicted about some areas where you need to change your speech. And that is good. Do that. But there is something further, something deeper, and I don’t want you to miss this.
Bad speech, death-bringing speech, is just a symptom of a deeper problem we all have: each of us has rebelled against God. We’ve turned our backs on him. Like Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost we’ve said “it’s better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.” We’ve all become our own gods. Listen to how the Apostle Paul describes all of us apart from Jesus Christ in Romans chapter 3, listen to how he talks about our words:
“None is righteous, no, not one; 11 no one understands; no one seeks for God… 13 “Their throat is an open grave; they use their tongues to deceive.” “The venom of asps is under their lips.” 14 “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.” … 18 “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” (Rom 3:10–18 ESV)
Our foul speech is just a symptom of foul hearts. But the good news of the gospel is that God has not left us in our sin and in our misery. He sent his son Jesus to take the punishment that our filthy speech deserved. Let’s consider Jesus as we close.
Who is Jesus? John the Apostle tells us: “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word was God.” Jesus Christ is the Word of God. Just as our words express our hearts, so Jesus is the perfect expression of the heart of God. When we behold Jesus, in his kindness, in his mercy toward sinners, in his terrible judgment against the unrepentant, we see the perfect expression of God himself.
But also, how did Jesus use his words? Well, as the apostles and others recognized, Jesus had the very words of life. His teaching amazed all who heard it. Although during his trial he was silent before his accusers, yet while hanging on the cross he cried out “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” And when he finally cried out “It is finished,” God’s perfect work of redemption was accomplished.
But finally, it is only by the word of the gospel that we are saved.
But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); 9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved. 11 For the Scripture says, “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.” 12 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. 13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” (Romans 10:8–13)
Friend, if you have not yet repented of your sins and trusted in Christ alone for salvation, today can be the day. Turn away from your sins, including how you’ve used your words, and turn toward Jesus. Call on him, saying, “Jesus, save me.” He will enter your heart and cleanse you, giving you a new heart that can pour out life-giving speech.
And Christian, commit today to use your godlike power of speech in ways that give life, and not death. You have the Spirit of Christ in you – the Spirit of the Word of God! Call upon him, depend on him daily, to use your speech to give life and not death.
30:15

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Communion
We are going to continue in worship by sharing the Lord’s supper together. The Lord’s supper is the family meal of Christians when we remember the death of Jesus on the cross for our sins.
So as the communion elements are being passed out, if you’ve repented of your sins and trusted in Jesus as your only hope, please take the communion elements, hold on to them, and we’ll take them together in a moment.
If you’d like a gluten free option, those are the ones toward the middle of the plate.
But if you’ve yet to repent of your sins and trust in Jesus Christ as your only savior, let the communion elements pass you by, but do take this time as an opportunity to trust Christ as your savior. There is even a sample prayer on the connect card…
We’ll begin with the bread. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians chapter 11:
For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, 24 and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”
Jesus’s body was broken for us. Let’s eat the bread together.
25 In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”
Let’s drink together.
26 For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.
Praise, prayer, prophecy