My downhearted, 

Grief is an inevitable side effect of the brokenness of our world, but it is unique to each of us.  For me, the grief I carry is the loss of a pregnancy. Suffering through a miscarriage is the single most grief-imbued experience of my life. The grief of my loss brought me to my knees. God never felt so unloving and cruel as in the darkest moments of my loss. 

While I was hurt and angry with God, actively questioning his goodness, our Father sent his Spirit to be my comforter and support. He met me in the depths of grief and wove the words of Lamentations 3:22-23 into my heart. “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” I pray these verses speak to you as they did me and lead you to an understanding of our glorious Father even while you suffer. These words came as my broken heart demanded answers from God, but he knew answers would never satisfy and instead sent the Holy Spirit to comfort me with the truth of the Father’s love, mercy, and faithfulness.  

As I meditated on Lamentations 3:22-23 in the midst of my intense grief, I realized suffering is a terrible consequence of this broken world and God will always love me through the pain. The Creator’s love does not cease; it is the firm foundation of God’s character, and nothing in this world can change that. At the start of creation, grief did not exist, and it will not be present when God makes all things new (Revelation 21:4-5), but the existence of grief does not and cannot change the Father’s love. How amazing is it to know you are loved by the One who will always be with you through the darkest moments of your life? And yet, when you are grieving, it is hard to remember that the Fall is the fault of humanity alone and God is not to blame for the suffering in the world. Not only is God blameless, he offers his love to you and promises to never break your heart, for all eternity. How amazing is that? The Creator and Savior of all loves you, and, no matter how broken and helpless you feel while drowning in suffering and grief, the Father’s steadfast love for you never ends.  

While I perceived God’s love to be distant, my miscarriage felt like a punishment, even though I know Christ died for my sins and that the Father does not punish his children. By His mercy he withholds the retribution we all deserve – death – through the incredible grace of Jesus. So then why is there still grief? Because we live in a broken world. And when grief becomes your lens for the world, it is easy to interpret the pain as a punishment from God, but it is not. It was the words of Lamentations 3:22 (“his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning”) that helped me fight the lies and accept the truth that the Father is still merciful in light of the loss of my baby. This grief you are experiencing cannot be a punishment because our heavenly Father is unendingly merciful. Though it is underserved, through Christ you are offered mercies that are new every morning and God’s endless, steadfast love is applied to your heart by the Comforter.

In those dark times when I could not feel God’s love or mercy, his words gently humbled me with the knowledge that the Father is always faithful. As my world fell apart, the Creator God whispered to my soul that I was never alone. And no truth was more encouraging in the loneliness of my grief. When your grief is overpowering and isolating, know that the Savior, who faced the sin of all creation alone on a cross, wants to comfort you. This world is broken and that brokenness makes grief inescapable, but you never have to face it alone. The Spirit is always beside you, remaining faithful even as you fight and question the Father. Take heart and know our Savior is always faithful to you.  

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases, his mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness.” These words changed my grief. They did not lessen the pain, but they made it more bearable by reminding me that I am loved, that my life is full of God’s mercy, and that I am never alone regardless of what dark road I walk. There is no cure, only an invitation from our Savior to focus our eyes on him and not on the pain of broken hearts. Whatever the cause of your grief, it is not too big or too small for God. Your grief is real and valid, but do not let it define you. Speak the truth of Lamentations 3:22-23 into your heart as often as you need and remind yourself that it is the steadfast love, unending mercy, and incredible faithfulness of Christ that will see you through the grief. 

Peace and joy,

Emily Ronca

Compassion Initiative Coordinator