A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised!

Sermon Transcript

A woman who fears the Lord is God-like. She’s God-like. Why do I say that? Do you see the word “trusts” in Proverbs 31:11? It says that “The heart of her husband trusts her.” That’s remarkable because apart from this verse and one other in the book of Judges, the Bible universally condemns trust in anyone or anything but the Lord. A woman who fears the Lord is God-like because she’s trustworthy.

Similarly, a woman who fears the Lord is God-like because she is truly beautiful. Proverbs 31:10-31 is structured to display beauty. Proverbs 31 is what’s called an acrostic poem. Every verse in Proverbs 31:10-31 begins with a different letter of the Hebrew alphabet from aleph to tav. Isn’t that beautiful? John Piper helpfully represents how this works. Look at the first few verses:

Aleph (v. 10) – is for a woman full of virtue,
Beth (v. 11) – refers to trust her husband shares,
Gimmel (v. 12) – is for work she does to help you,
Daleth (v. 13) – stands for how she seeks her wares.

The acrostic is significant, as Piper points out, because it reveals that the author of Proverbs 31 is not building an argument, like in Romans. Instead, he’s stringing pearls because a woman who fears the Lord exhibits true beauty and that’s God-like. In Psalm 27:4, David said that the one thing he asked of the Lord was to gaze upon His beauty. A woman who fears the Lord is God-like in her trustworthiness, God-like in her true beauty, and, above all, she’s God-like because Proverbs 31 says she’s worthy to be praised. Praise is typically reserved for the Lord, but a woman who fears the Lord is so precious that she too is worthy of derivative, or secondary, praise. Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” And that brings us to the big idea of Proverbs 31:10-31: A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. The fear of the Lord is where Proverbs begins and ends. It’s so important. The fear of the Lord is both the beginning of knowledge and it’s to be praised when seen in a woman. It’s for all of us. What does it mean to fear the Lord? OT scholar Douglas Stuart wrote, “The fear of the Lord is enjoined throughout Scripture, demanding that God’s people stand always in awe of him, appreciate his supremacy and greatness, fear the consequences of disobeying his will, and not treat lightly any aspect of their covenant relationship with him, lest the consequences be severe or even fatal. Attempts on the part of some in modern times to define fearing the Lord as merely respecting him distort the biblical evidence.” A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Now, to understand why a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised and how to praise her, we are going to take our passage in three parts; three points:

1. She blesses her husband (vv. 10-12)
2. She blesses her household, and beyond (vv. 13-27)
3. Therefore, she is called blessed (vv. 28-31).

Before we dig into the details, we should briefly consider how to best apply Proverbs 31:10-31. It may surprise you to know that Proverbs 31 was first written to men, not women. Notice that Proverbs 31:1 says that Proverbs 31 was written down by King Lemuel, but it was originally taught to him by his mom. Why would King Lemuel’s mom teach him that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised? Most likely because she wanted her son to pursue a woman who fears the Lord for marriage and then praise her. Therefore, a primary way men should apply Proverbs 31 is by pursuing a woman who fears the Lord to be his wife, and then praising her. Of course, an unmarried man should also seek to become the kind of man that a woman who fears the Lord would love to marry and a married man should cultivate the fear of the Lord in his wife, making it as easy as possible for her to fear the Lord. But a primary application for us men to consider as we learn Proverbs 31 is “pursue and praise.” Unmarried men – let today be a line in the sand.

Of course, though Proverbs 31 is an oracle that Lemuel’s mother taught him, there is still vast application from Proverbs 31 for married and unmarried women. Surely, Proverbs 31 was placed into God’s word to inspire women to fear the Lord and be like this woman in the way that she lived and fulfilled her responsibilities. And yes, sisters, “inspire” is the right word. As Christian author Abigail Dodds (she and Tilly Dilehay have a wonderful podcast called Home Fires) writes, “If Proverbs 31 makes you feel like someone loaded giant bags of luggage on your back, it is time to lay those down at the cross. And once we’ve been transformed, we will begin to see the beauty of the myriad ways God invites us to transform actual tangible things around us and make them better for his glory. The ideal woman will no longer be a threat or a requirement but inspiring and glorious as we observe that everything she touches, she improves to yield a return. We will see this as freedom, not bondage. Don’t we want that good for the people around us? Don’t we desire to be wise and transformative and more like Christ? God’s design outlined in the Scriptures is a vision for womanhood that is not just right and to be obeyed; it is experientially preferable to all the world has to offer. And it doesn’t apply just to those who are married or mothers. Single women of any age are meant for full transformative womanhood. They are meant to be Christian women in the deepest sense, that is, spiritually nurturing and growing all God has given them.” And yes, it’s possible for all women (single and married) to be inspired to fear Christ like the woman in Proverbs 31. The reason I know that it’s possible is because when I read Proverbs 31:10-31 it screams, “Andrea Cohen.” Her face leaps off the page when I read Proverbs 31. Oh my goodness, where would I be, where would our family be, where would this church be without Andrea Cohen. She hasn’t arrived, but she fears the Lord and is to be praised. She’s not alone. Every one of the elders of this church who are married has a wife who reflects this text. Every female staff member of Citylight Church does too. Countless married and single women at Citylight who fear the Lord and honor him at home, in this church, do as well. How do I know it’s possible? Because I know Andrea Cohen, Patsy Shaw, Shanell Fuller, Blessy Mathew, Kristi Dastalfo, Karen Pfeil, Rebekah Edwards, Emily Ronca, Elly Deschamps, Laura Ranck, Audra Chin, and many more. Proverbs 31 is here not to exhaust you, but to inspire you to fear the Lord and be like the woman in Proverbs 31, and the women who reflect her in this church.

Perhaps above all else, we should all be inspired by the Proverbs 31 woman. After all, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, lived, died and rose to purchase a pure bride for himself, called the church. Church – we together are the bride of Jesus Christ, purchased with his own blood. Ephesians 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, The devoted wife in Proverbs 31 is meant to inspire us, the church, Jesus’ blood-bought bride, to live as Christ’s devoted bride until we are united with him at the eternal wedding supper of the lamb. Ok, a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Why?

SHE BLESSES HER HUSBAND (vv. 10-12)

Proverbs 31:10 – An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The author asks, “an excellent wife who can find?” not because the answer is “no one,” but because the rhetorical question highlights how precious and valuable she is. In the Ancient Near East, a man and his family would have to pay a bride-price to a woman’s family to obtain a bride. The author is saying that an excellent wife is worth any price. The word “excellent” there in verse 10 is used in other parts of the Old Testament to describe the competent strength of warriors. The competent, excellent, strong wife is more precious than jewels because she is a sister-in-arms with her husband as they fight life’s battles together in order to build a family legacy to the glory of God. Men – that’s who you want to marry; that’s what you should praise in your wife. Women – that’s who you want to be, by God’s grace and for his glory. Parents – that’s who you want to raise your daughters to be. Church – we want to be the precious bride of Christ, fulfilling his mission with zeal and holiness.

Proverbs 31:11 – The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Now, we should not be surprised that the first characteristic of a woman who fears the Lord mentioned is that she blesses and brings value to her husband. This shouldn’t surprise us because the Bible says that’s what women were created to do. Genesis 2:18, 20-22 – Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” …The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. The woman who fears the Lord blesses her husband because she was created to be a helper fit for him; his partner in arms for God’s glory. No wonder God says in the New Testament, “For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man” (1 Corinthians 11:7-9). A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because she fulfills her divine design. She blesses her husband as God’s created helper fit for him. Now, if you’re an unmarried woman, you may wonder, “How does this apply to me? Can I fulfill God’s creation purpose for me while single?!” Absolutely. Remember, we are ultimately the bride of Christ. We, the church, men and women, are Jesus’ bride, called to bless him through our praise, our holiness, and advancing his mission. That’s what a holy bride does. A holy bride serves no other husband. We, the church, have been betrothed to serve one man, the Lord Christ. In 2 Corinthians 11:2 we read, “For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.”

If you look closely again at verse 11, you’ll notice that there are two specific ways that the woman who fears the Lord, the woman who is to be praised and emulated, blesses her husband: He can trust her and he is enriched by her. Proverbs 31:11 – The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She’s a loyal and capable partner. She can be trusted with anything. Proverbs 31:12 – She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She really is more precious than jewels. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because she blesses her husband. Can I be honest with you? Ladies – the world will never tell you to make emulating her the aspiration of your life? Men, the world will never tell you to pursue and praise this kind of woman. Listen to God’s voice, not the world’s. Now, this extraordinary woman who fears the Lord doesn’t only bless her husband, secondly…

SHE BLESSES HER HOUSEHOLD, AND BEYOND (vv. 13-27)

A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because, as Abigail Dodds writes, she “transforms actual tangible things around [her] and make(s) them better for his glory.” As we look at vv. 13-27 we will see that the woman who fears the Lord blesses her household primarily, and beyond secondarily, by being industrious and generous; industrious and generous.

She is industrious; competent and hardworking for the sake of her household. Proverbs 31:13-19 provides several examples of her industry. She industriously clothes her family. – She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. The woman who fears the Lord worked with industrious hands and a positive attitude to clothe her family. She industriously trades so that her household can enjoy merchandise that they couldn’t produce themselves. 14 She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She is industrious in that she is the opposite from the sluggard who features so prominently in Proverbs. 15 She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She is industrious in that she can manage others in order to bring blessing to her family. 16 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. 18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. Though these examples are culturally distant, you can imagine the mother today who juggles the groceries, arranges the doctors appointments, makes sure her ever-growing children have clothes, manages the family house that builds equity so that her family has long-term financial stability. You can imagine the woman who uses her skills to glorify God and be his witness in her career, opens her home in hospitality, and serves the spiritual and physical needs of her fellow church members. As Dodds says, she uses her industry to “transform actual tangible things around us and make them better for his glory.” The woman who fears the Lord is industrious and sometimes her industry allows her family to enjoy some luxury, which is a wonderful gift from God and nothing to be embarrassed about. Proverbs 31:21-22, 24-25 – She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple…She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. The woman who fears the Lord, the excellent wife who is to be pursued, praised and imitated, blesses her household, and beyond, by being industrious; competent and hardworking.

She is generous. Proverbs 31:20, 26 shows that the woman who fears the Lord blesses her household, and beyond by being generous physically and spiritually. Proverbs 31:20 – She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy. The woman who fears the Lord is generous to the poor. She opens her heart to the hurting church member and opens her hand to those in the church who don’t have the same material wealth that she enjoys. She opens her hand to the classmate of her children that can’t afford the things her child has. She opens her hand to her elderly neighbor. She partners with her church to serve the poor and the marginalized. At Citylight you can do that through our compassion ministries, which are directed by Emily Ronca (emily@citylightphilly.com). She is industrious to also be generous toward her family first, but also to the people of God, and even the poor who aren’t yet part of His people. But she isn’t only generous with her wealth, she’s also generous with her words and her teaching. Proverbs 31:26 – She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She generously instructs others in God’s wisdom. She’s an able discipler; doing intentional spiritual good to others, especially her children, so that they all become more like Christ. The woman who fears the Lord often has her Bible open and is busy conveying the wisdom of God to other women and children because that blesses her household and beyond The woman who fears the Lord – the woman who is to be praised and emulated – blesses her household through industry and generosity. Seek her, praise her, and imitate her.

Proverbs 31:13-27 is a poem and the heart of it is right in the middle. Proverbs 31:23 – Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. The woman who fears the Lord blesses her household in such a way that her husband is strengthened and freed up from domestic worries so that he can hold a position of prestige and influence, to the glory of God. Men – are you pursuing or praising an industrious and generous woman who fears Christ, or are you more enamored by fleeting beauty? Ladies – is industrious and generous for the blessing of your household first, and beyond second, what you aspire to? Church – Are we being industrious and generous toward building up the prestige and advancing the mission of our groom who redeemed us by his blood? The woman who fears the Lord is to be praised because she blesses her husband and blesses her household, and beyond. And that brings us to our final point…

THEREFORE, SHE IS CALLED BLESSED (vv. 28-31)

How should the children privileged to be reared by a woman who fears the Lord respond to her greatness? How should you respond to a woman who fears the Lord who has mentored you or served you in the church? How should you teach your children to respond to their Christ-fearing mother? Proverbs 31:28a – Her children rise up and call her blessed. To call a woman who fears Christ blessed, means to esteem them in your heart and declare with your mouth your admiration for them because she fears the Lord and, as a result, brings blessing, life, and increase to every area of their lives. As far as they’re concerned, she’s the greatest mother in the world. Do you have a mother who fears the Lord? Is there a woman who fears the Lord who has mentored you, served our church, or given herself to the children at Citylight Kids? Today, rise up and call these Christ-fearing women blessed. Express your gratitude and admiration to her. If your Christ-fearing mother is aging, don’t wait until their funeral to eulogize them. Call your Christ-fearing mother blessed now and never stop.

How should the husband whom the Lord has been so kind as to bless with a wife who fears the Lord? Proverbs 31:28b-29 – “…her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” Brothers, do you have a wife who fears the Lord? Praise her. Speak specific words of appreciation to her. Tell her that in your heart she surpasses every other. Young men, only pursue a woman whom you can praise because she fears the Lord.

How should the church privileged to be filled with women who fear the Lord respond to them? Our passage closes not with the words of her children or husband, but the words of the whole community. Church, praise her! Proverbs 31:30-31 – Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.

CONCLUSION

Dear friends – the Proverbs 31 woman had an imperfect husband, but was devoted to Him. How much more should we be devoted to our perfect husband? Jesus Christ is the true and ultimate husband and he died and rose to pay the dowry price for his bride, the church, with his blood. And on the last day we will be made ready to be his bride forever. Proverbs 31 is so much bigger than just individual and temporary applications. Proverbs 31 points us forward to the glorious day when every married and unmarried man and woman who knows and loves Christ will be his pure and joyful bride forever! Revelation 19:6-9

Then I heard what seemed to be the voice of a great multitude, like the roar of many waters and like the sound of mighty peals of thunder, crying out,
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God
the Almighty reigns.
7
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him the glory,
for the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and his Bride has made herself ready;
8
it was granted her to clothe herself
with fine linen, bright and pure”—
for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.
9 And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”