Wisely Deal with Danger or Else Suffer Disaster (Part 2)
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INTRODUCTION
For about 35 years my dad worked as a public defender in Los Angeles County, where I grew up. A public defender is a criminal defense lawyer that is appointed by the court to represent someone who cannot afford to hire a private attorney. It’s a wild job and, as you can imagine, my dad had some stories. I don’t know what your dad told you about what he did at work all day, but I grew up hearing about murderer cases and armed robberies, about plea deals and lifetime prison sentences. One of the all-unifying lessons I learned from my dad’s stories is that you want to do everything possible to avoid the danger of becoming one of his clients. Don’t be that guy because it can ruin your life. Well, “Don’t be that guy” is the essential message of Proverbs chapter six. Proverbs 6 teaches us wisdom through the example of fools. In Proverbs 6, God, through the voice of a father mentoring his son, holds up the example of four different types of fools so that we’ll wisely deal with the danger of becoming like them and avoid suffering disaster. That brings us to the big idea of our passage this morning: Wisely deal with danger or else suffer disaster (Part 2). Wisely deal with danger or suffer disaster (Part 2). Last week we explored the first two dangers: the danger of financial ruin and the danger of laziness. This week we’re going to explore the final two. Wisely deal with danger or else suffer disaster: 1. The danger of divisiveness (6:12-19) and 2. The danger of adultery (6:20-35). Look at me: this matters so much because your life is incredibly significant to God. If you’re a Christian, it’s not because you got serious about your faith, it’s because you were born again with a new heart through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. And while you and I have new hearts, there is still a divisive person and an adulterer lurking in our flesh. We must wisely deal with the danger lurking in our flesh or else our life will suffer disaster.
THE DANGER OF DIVISIVENESS
Wisely deal with the danger of divisiveness or else suffer disaster. We are introduced to the divisive person in Proverbs 6:12 where he is simply called, “A worthless person.” Now, that sounds really harsh. Why does our loving Heavenly Father call the divisive person worthless? Because there is literally no redeeming value in sowing discord among Christian brothers and sisters.
Let’s meet this fool that lurks inside each one of us. Proverbs 6:12-14 – A worthless person, a wicked man, goes about with crooked speech, winks with his eyes, signals with his feet, points with his finger, with perverted heart devises evil, continually sowing discord… Who is this fool that lurks inside? The first key word is “crooked.” The divisive person lies, exaggerates, creates false-narratives, misrepresents someone’s good intentions and best efforts, all with the result of sowing discord where there should be unity. If you think about it, the divisive person in Proverbs 6 is a serial breaker of the ninth commandment: you shall not give or bear false testimony. The Westminster Shorter Catechism helpfully explains what is forbidden by the ninth commandment, “The ninth commandment forbids whatsoever is prejudicial to truth, or injurious to our own or our neighbor’s good name.” The Heidelberg Catechism defines the obligations of the ninth commandment this way, “I must…twist no one’s words, not gossip or slander, nor condemn or join in condemning anyone rashly and unheard. Rather, I must avoid all lying and deceit as the devil’s own works, under penalty of God’s heavy wrath.” The divisive person is a serial 9th commandment breaker.
However, I think we can be even more specific in identifying this fool. Notice the language in verse thirteen again. Winking eyes and pointing fingers are signs of subtlety and secrecy. The words in verse thirteen describe speech that is indirect, secret, and behind the backs of others. Simply, verse thirteen is talking about gossip. The divisive person is, most commonly, a gossip. Matt Mitchell, the author of Resisting Gossip, writes that “the sin of gossip is bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.” It’s bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart, which sows discord where Christian love should be found. Now it’s not always easy to know if we’ve participated in gossip through speaking or listening to someone else speak. Generally, we commit the sin of gossip when we say anything negative about someone or potentially injurious to their reputation when they’re not present. We know that because Matthew 18 says that if someone sins against you, then you should first talk to them 1:1, and only expand the circle if they do not repent. But there are exceptions to that general rule. For example there are times when a church member may need to ask a pastor or another mature Christian for advice about how to best approach someone who has sinned or they otherwise need to reconcile with. A Citygroup leader may need to ask a pastor or another CG member for wisdom about how to best lead a challenging group member. If someone hurts me and I conclude that the Lord wants me to overlook it, I still may need to tell a trusted friend what happened in order to seek their help in overlooking it. Those scenarios are not necessarily gossip. They can be, but not necessarily, and that’s where we have to admit that gossip is, in part, a matter of our heart-motivation. I say that because verse fourteen in our passage says that divisive gossip flows from a “perverted heart.” Slowing down and asking yourself questions can help you check your heart and avoid gossip. If you’re expanding the circle, ask yourself, “Am I telling this person because I want to get some stuff off my chest or because I want them to help me to wisely and lovingly engage the person who may have wronged me?” “If I share this, will it negatively affect the way the person I’m speaking to views the person I’m telling them about? Will this potentially sow discord between them?” The divisive person throws all that to the wind and from a bad heart uses their words to injure someone else’s good name, or willingly listens to someone else do the same. Honest question – How do you see yourself in the divisive person? The gossip?
Now that we’ve met the divisive fool, what disaster are they in danger of suffering? Well, they are in danger of sowing discord among Christian brothers. Proverbs 6:19b – …one who sows discord among brothers. Now, why is that such a disaster? Because when you use your words to sow discord among people in our church, or you willingly listen to others do it, you’re dividing the very thing the Lord Jesus Christ died to unite. Ephesians 2:14 – For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility. Jesus Christ gave up his flesh on the cross to forgive our sins, adopt us as God’s children by grace, and unite us as God’s family in him. When you sow discord through gossip, you’re dividing what Christ died to unite. No wonder Proverbs 6 threatens the harshest judgment for unrepentant gossips. Proverbs 6:15-19 – therefore calamity will come upon him suddenly; in a moment he will be broken beyond healing. [16] There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him: [17] haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, [18] a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, [19] a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers. When the Old Testament uses this 6:7 literary device the seventh thing the Lord hates is always the main point and explains the previous six. The Lord hates those who divide what he died to unite. Anyone who makes a lifestyle of it without repentance is in danger of suffering the disaster of eternal judgment because they’re probably not a genuine follower of Jesus.
How do we wisely deal with this danger? Well, our passage doesn’t say. It just promises judgment. Therefore, the first way to wisely deal with the danger of divisiveness is to repent of it. Repentance isn’t the same as saying sorry. Repentance begins with comprehending the greatness of your sin and the greater greatness of God’s mercy. Repentance begins when we grasp that gossip divides what Christ brought together, deserves God’s wrath, but in his mercy God poured the wrath we deserve on Christ. The person who grasps the sinfulness of sin and the greatness of Jesus’ mercy, then hates their sin, grieves over it, and turns to Jesus for forgiveness and grace to live in a new way. Repentance may have to include apologizing to someone you’ve gossiped about, apologizing to those you’ve gossiped to, or in love not consenting to listen when someone else gossips to you. It may include a grace-motivated resolve to use your words only to build and never to tear a brother or sister down. In addition to repentance, one of the best ways to wisely deal with the danger of becoming a divisive person is Romans 12:10b – Outdo one another in showing honor. Imagine every single one of us using our words to constantly honor one another, whether when you’re talking to someone or about them to others. Imagine a church where we normalize being competitive about how much we honor each other. Imagine the vibe among us being so full of mutual honor that when someone uses their words in any sort of divisive way, it’s so weird that the person easily experiences the conviction of the Holy Spirit so that they can happily repent. I want to be part of building a church like that. What’s your next step in wisely avoiding the danger of divisiveness so that you don’t suffer the disaster of God’s judgment? Let’s turn now to the greatest danger of them all.
THE DANGER OF ADULTERY (6:20-35)
Let’s meet the final fool that lurks in our flesh. What is adultery? Proverbs 6:29 describes the adulterous man as “he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife.” That is the graphic horror of it and it’s forbidden in the seventh of the ten commandments. Of course, the Lord Jesus Christ takes the seventh commandment to the level of the heart and the eyes, which is where adultery begins. Matthew 5:27-28 – “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ [28] But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Adultery is when a married person has sex with someone who isn’t their spouse, but beneath adultery are lustful looks, romantic fantasies, disordered desires, unchaste words, and if they are not weeded out, they grow and overtake your life. How do you see yourself in the adulterer?
What disaster is the adulterer in danger of suffering? Simply, death. That’s right, death. Brothers, if you violate another man’s divinely approved sexual world by sleeping with his wife, do not be surprised if in an act of vengeance he takes your life or ruins your life. Proverbs 6:26-27 – Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; 26 for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life. Of course, God in no way condones sleeping with a prostitute. Rather, God is saying, “as heinous as sleeping with a prostitute is, sleeping with another person’s spouse violates a covenant and brings even more deadly consequences. Her husband may murder you.” And these deadly consequences of adultery are inevitable. Proverbs 6:27-29 – Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? 28 Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? 29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished. The disastrous consequences of adultery are such that even if you are forgiven and gloriously restored by Jesus Christ, the damage will never be fully wiped away in this life. Proverbs 6:32-33 – He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. 33 He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away.
How do we wisely deal with the danger of adultery so that we don’t suffer disaster? You bind God’s word to your heart. Proverbs 6:20-21 – My son, keep your father’s commandment, and forsake not your mother’s teaching. Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. Binding God’s word on your heart and tying it on your neck are metaphors for memorizing and meditating on God’s word; memorizing and meditating. I’ll share with you generally how it works for me. I like to begin my morning devotions by reading five pages from a book that I’m pretty confident will warm up my soul and prepare me for Bible reading. I read 2-3 chapters in the Bible, praying after each one. Then I spend time memorizing a verse or group of verses that speak to an area of sin or unbelief in my heart. For example, among other verses, I’ve recently been memorizing Psalm 130 and portions of Psalm 51 again because I struggle to feel forgiven of my sin and rejoice in my salvation. This week, in light of our passage, I’ve been memorizing Proverbs 6:25 – Do not desire her beauty in your heart. When God’s word is bound to your heart, it protects you from letting someone into your heart that shouldn’t be there. Proverbs 6:22-23 – When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. 23 For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life 24 to preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. 25 Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes; Bind God’s word to your heart and it will protect your heart from adultery. Ray Ortlund beautifully describes the wisdom-inducing effect of God’s word. He writes, “When a wise man sees a beautiful woman who is not his wife, here is how he thinks: “Yes, she is beautiful. So? Nothing to do with me. Beautiful and irrelevant. I am so out of here mentally!” And that wise man keeps going straight on ahead, for Christ, into a destiny of great-ness. But a fool does not even have those categories.” Friends – if you will keep having your daily quiet time in prayer and God’s word, if you’ll keep binding God’s word to your heart everyday, his word will preserve you and when you do begin to habitually indulge sexual sin, his word will bring you back to your senses so that you snap out of it and turn from it back to Him so that you won’t suffer anymore disaster. But the most beautiful thing you’ll find there in God’s word is called the gospel. Gospel means “good news.” Dear friends – I don’t want to foolishly soften the message of Proverbs 6. Proverbs 6:16 says that gossip and divisiveness is an abomination to the Lord; it turns his stomach. Proverbs 6:33 says that the adulterers disgrace will never be wiped away. Friends, these are words of eternal judgment. Do you see that you need a Savior? Do you finally see that you can’t just get serious about your faith or improve yourself, but you need to be saved from God’s wrath? There is One who can save you and his name is Jesus. He never sinned and he died in the place of sinners and rose again. Apart from him is only judgment. Turn to him and he will forgive your sins, rid you of your disgrace, and give you new lips that learn to love to praise him and honor people and a new heart that loves his word more than lust. You’re in danger of suffering eternal disaster and the only wise way to deal with it is to receive and rest in Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins.